Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut

WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly angry and pacing his office, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly shaking with rage Tuesday after imagining a plus-sized astronaut. “Ugh, it makes me fucking sick to think about some fatass floating through space making Americans look like pathetic slobs,” said Hegseth, a large vein pulsating across his beet-red forehead as he […] The post Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut appeared first on The Onion.