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  "path": "/pete-hegseth-shaking-with-rage-after-imagining-plus-sized-astronaut/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-26T17:45:55.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Politics",
    "Pete Hegseth",
    "Vol 62: Issue 21",
    "Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly angry and pacing his office, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly shaking with rage Tuesday after imagining a plus-sized astronaut. “Ugh, it makes me fucking sick to think about some fatass floating through space making Americans look like pathetic slobs,” said Hegseth, a large vein pulsating across his beet-red forehead as he […]\n\nThe post Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Pete Hegseth Shaking With Rage After Imagining Plus-Sized Astronaut"
}