About You

> And there was something about you that now I can't remember It's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender And I'll miss you on a train, I'll miss you in the mornin' I never know what think about I think about you I, in my heart, am deeply insecure. Most days, I fear that I am not good enough. I try to compare myself to that which I cannot attain. They say that comparison is the thief of joy, after all. Most days, I fear that I do not do enough. I try to do too much all at once, which only makes it harder to do anything. They say that multitasking is fake, which they are most certainly right. Most days, I fear that nobody actually likes me. I try to make everyone like me, which likely makes me seem "fake". They say that trying to please everyone only annoys everyone, which is true. I worry all the time. Will I finally get a job? I try and I try but all I can do is wait and hope. Will I say something so stupid that someone I care about hates me? I try to have a filter but nothing is perfect. Will I be able to move on from my current stagnation? I have been trying, but much is completely beyond my control. Am I doing the right thing? Am I wasting the prime of my life? Am I saying the right thing? I have not the slightest of an idea. All of this flies through my head at all times. But when I am with you, it all fades away. All of the worries of the world, All of the chaos of life, All of the uncertainty, Just seems to disappear when I am with you. No matter what, you are always there for me. I still worry. Am I good enough? Am I doing enough? Do I deserve it? You reassure me the best you can. No matter what, you are always there for me. I frequently hide parts of myself around others. I show everyone my best self. I hide the parts of myself I hate, and there is a lot. But, when I am around you, I do not. It just feels pointless to hide anything around you. I am with you all the time. It still does not feel like enough. What can I do for you? You feel down just like me. What can I help with? You help me all the time. What can I do? You do everything for me. The world is a chaotic place. With you, it feels like there is order. Is that too much to ask for? Hell if I know. I know I am not perfect. I say terrible things. I do terrible things. Nothing makes me hate myself more than making you upset. There is so much I do not understand. But, I try. No one is perfect. No one can be perfect. Imperfections make us human. But, I try. Can anything more be done? I still try. I cannot think of a good way to end this.