What May Follow When You Are Slacked “Hey”

You’re fired. You are getting a promotion. You are getting a demotion. You are now in charge. The person you hate here the most is now in charge, and they told me to tell you that you are fired. No paychecks this week, cool? Could I borrow you for a sec? Could I borrow you for a quick sec? I’ve always loved you. We’re doubling your salary. We’re taking your salary and cutting it in half. We’re taking your salary, cutting it in half, and giving that half to the person here you hate the most. The Christmas gift this year is a donation to the charity of someone else’s choice. Layoffs are coming, and you’re safe. Layoffs are coming. We’re safe. Layoffs are coming. You’re safe, I’m not. Layoffs are coming. I’m safe, you’re not. Layoffs are coming. We’re both fucked. Lunch? Guess who’s fucked? Guess who fucked? Coffee? Can you open this doc? Nevermind.