Lines, Ranked

1. Conga. It literally cannot get better than this.

2. Assembly. It’s not glamorous, but hot damn is it effective.

3. Waist. Awooooga!

4. Jaw. Hubba Hubba!

5. Hair. Yowie!

6. Blood. Define your legacy.

7. On. How you’re reading this, probably.

8. Shore. She sells seashells here.

9. Under. A little bench for your letters.

10. Time. 2026: read this list, 2030: millionaire.

11. Life. I like “phone a friend.”

12. Bottom. Understand, bub?

13. Bread. What your grandma thinks Zohran wants.

14. Zip. Is my harness secure? Is my harness secure? Is my harness secure? Is my harness secure? Is my harness secure? Is my harness—OOOOWOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

15. Border. I’m a little on the fence about this one.

16. Bee. Get there quick.

17. Pipe. Cool when Mario, not cool when school-to-prison.

18. Kick. How else are we supposed to end a musical?

19. Bass. How else are we supposed to end an episode of Seinfeld?

20. Sky. How else are we supposed to start an episode of Frasier?

21. Number. Just cold, hard integers, standing at attention.

22. Fishing. Take a worm’s life in vain.

23. Dotted. Nice signature. Now we own your likeness.

24. Finish. All my coworkers told me I should come to the annual Turkey Trot. And I was like, “Really?” And they were like, “Do it for office morale.” And so I come to find out it’s a speed walking competition, which sort of threw me for a loop, because what counts as running versus walking? Something to do with knees, I think? Anyway, I won, but I had to trip a guy.

25. Plot. Good, until she torches that city with her dragons.

26. Brook. Boston’s third-best suburb and the twenty-sixth-best line.

27. Dead. Henderson needs the report by EOD.

28. Cruise. I’m only there for the magician.

29. Log. Picture this: Inside Out meets Saving Private Ryan.

30. Tag. They’re all Fear now.

31. Clothes. Kind of boring unless it’s the wrestling move.

32. Zigzag. Good enough for Charlie Brown.

33. Head. You should probably read the whole article before reposting.

34. Alka. Kinda basic.

35. Front. Shoutout to the troops, but it doesn’t seem fun out there.

36. Guide. Phooey with these “rules.”

37. Pick-up. “Did it hurt when your ten I see come here often?”

38. Gum. Receding even faster than #5.

39. Flat. My bad, that beeping was getting on my nerves.

40. Thin Blue. Not unless it’s on the bottom of my tiny little bisexual flag.

41. Punch.