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All The Mistakes I Made Last Night

Raintree Ruckus April 4, 2026
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Note: same situation as this one; I was really in my feelings about it.


It was everything I expected And yet... I still went, Just in case Another sees me And needs a lighthouse.

Below is every mistake I made last night because i am still full of self-loathing on my worst days

  1. being myself, the too-quiet one withdrawn after an evening of nature but still trying.

knowing only the hosts and failing to mingle, too self-conscious to try harder.

  1. having an extra beer when i was beginning to feel sad; they're downers: will make you sadder.

  2. when i did talk i didn't ask what they did for fun: i expressed hamfistedly or aroundthebushbeat that we shouldn't be alone like this in a crowd...

  3. I assumed they also felt that way.

  4. Being only one person (any interpretation of this).

  5. Said no goodbyes, not even to the room. To clarify: the mistake was not leaving sooner.

  6. i didn't cry but i am so tired of feeling alone

  7. Deleted the messages I sent. Backspaced away what I should have spoken of.

  8. Stopped here.

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