{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "bskyPostRef": {
    "cid": "bafyreidqahs2odvbkkmn5dvdjzcnm2vfhzqpc2luloqd45asme23iw7c74",
    "uri": "at://did:plc:b4vjhmkrwht5xhkipiallhgh/app.bsky.feed.post/3miofimavmt42"
  },
  "description": "Actually, the night before.",
  "path": "/all-the-mistakes-i-made-last-night/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-04T14:00:57.000Z",
  "site": "https://raintreeruckus.com",
  "tags": [
    "this one",
    "lighthouse"
  ],
  "textContent": "Note: same situation as this one; I was really in my feelings about it.\n\n* * *\n\nIt was everything I expected\nAnd yet...\nI still went,\nJust in case\nAnother sees me\nAnd needs a lighthouse.\n\n**Below is every mistake I made last night\nbecause i am still full of self-loathing on my worst days**\n\n1)\nbeing myself, the too-quiet one\nwithdrawn after an evening of nature\nbut still trying.\n\nknowing only the hosts and\nfailing to mingle,\ntoo self-conscious to try harder.\n\n2)\nhaving an extra beer\nwhen i was beginning to feel sad;\nthey're downers: will make you sadder.\n\n3)\nwhen i did talk i didn't ask\nwhat they did for fun:\ni expressed hamfistedly or aroundthebushbeat\nthat we shouldn't be alone like this\nin a crowd...\n\n4)\nI assumed they also felt that way.\n\n5)\nBeing only one person (any interpretation of this).\n\n6)\nSaid no goodbyes, not even to the room.\nTo clarify: the mistake was not leaving sooner.\n\n7)\n_i didn't cry\nbut i am so tired of feeling alone_\n\n8)\nDeleted the messages I sent.\nBackspaced away what I should have spoken of.\n\n9)\nStopped here.",
  "title": "All The Mistakes I Made Last Night",
  "updatedAt": "2026-04-04T14:00:57.795Z"
}