Brave Either Way

I’m spinning.
    It’s too much.
        All the things.

I go to the only place.
    The only place that can bring me back.
        Back to myself.

A cold swim.
    Shock to my body.
        Release for my mind.

A walk on the beach.
    Meditative.
    Rhythm.
        Lulling me home.

I see a monarch in the sand.
    Tipped over on her side.
Legs pedaling in the air.
    Struggling.
        Just like me.

I sit down next to her and ask her aloud,
    _Would you like me to intervene or just be with you in your struggle?_

Wings glued together with moisture
    and dusted with sand,
I truly don’t know what will cause her less pain.
    Living or
        Dying.

I stay with her.
    Stay with the struggle
        And wait for her reply.

She tells me she will accept my gentle intercession.
    I right her and allow air to flow through her wings.
Hoping she will fly once again.
    Maybe as far as Mexico.

_You have a big, big journey ahead of you if you can recover._
_You’re very brave._
    I offer admiringly.

_Brave to face death all alone on this beach._
_Brave to fly all the way to Mexico._

_You’re very brave either way._

Then I hear my words echo back to me.
    I hear the monarch lovingly whisper,

_You’re very brave to take this big, big journey._
_You’re brave to be fierce with reality._
    _To surrender to what is._
    _To live alongside the devastation._
    _To walk a razor edge._

_You’re brave when you resist._
_You’re brave when you relinquish._

_You’re very brave either way._