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  "path": "/opinion/secret-diary-pump-attendants",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-27T16:30:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.odt.co.nz",
  "textContent": "A Mad Max apocalypse, coming to a petrol station near you. PHOTO: SUPPLIED  \n\n  \n\nChris Hipkins\n\nHi there, and thank you for your custom. I’ll be your pump attendant today but before we get down to business, I have no advice to give you, should you want it, on the fuel crisis. It’s certainly a bad business. War! What is it good for? Some say absolutely nothing, but I don’t think absolutes are very helpful moving forward.",
  "title": "The secret diary of... pump attendants"
}