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  "path": "/post/8660027",
  "publishedAt": "2026-06-02T00:11:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://hexbear.net",
  "tags": [
    "Slop.",
    "SorosFootSoldier",
    "slop",
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  "textContent": "submitted by SorosFootSoldier to slop\n40 points | 16 comments\n\n\nDon’t worry Scro!",
  "title": "Panicans in shambles as YOUR PRESIDENT has spoken."
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