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"publishedAt": "2026-04-04T17:30:00.000Z",
"site": "https://futurism.com",
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"textContent": "\"I didn't want anybody shooting me in the back.\"\n\nThe post CEO Says He’s Giving Employees a $1.5 Million Bonus So He Doesn’t Get Shot in the Street by a Luigi-Like Killer appeared first on Futurism.",
"title": "CEO Says He’s Giving Employees a $1.5 Million Bonus So He Doesn’t Get Shot in the Street by a Luigi-Like Killer"
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