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  "path": "/tips-for-cooling-your-home/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-07-03T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Local",
    "Explainer",
    "Health + Wellness",
    "Heat",
    "Vol 62: Issue 26",
    "Tips For Cooling Your Home",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "More than two dozen states are experiencing extreme heat. The Onion shares tips for keeping your home cool and comfortable amid record-breaking temperatures. Press a cold, damp towel against your home’s pulse points. Take contortionist classes until you can fit inside the freezer. Fire your gun in the air as a warning to the sun […]\n\nThe post Tips For Cooling Your Home appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Tips For Cooling Your Home"
}