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  "path": "/greta-sampson-and-arnold-white/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-06-02T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Weddings",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Vol 62: Issue 10",
    "Greta Sampson and Arnold White",
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  "textContent": "Both bride and groom knew working with a matchmaker would be a waste of time, but they were determined to get their money’s worth no matter what.\n\nThe post Greta Sampson and Arnold White appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Greta Sampson and Arnold White"
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