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  "path": "/europeans-announce-there-nothing-anyone-can-do-to-make-them-stop-loving-michael-jackson/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-29T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Entertainment",
    "Music",
    "Vol 62: Issue 21",
    "Europeans Announce There Nothing Anyone Can Do To Make Them Stop Loving Michael Jackson",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "PARIS—Steadfast in their devotion to the treasured cultural keystone of their community, the roughly 743.5 million residents of Europe gathered Friday to announce that there’s nothing anyone can do to make them stop loving Michael Jackson. “You may try to break down our resolve with accusations that he engaged in inappropriate sexual behaviors, but our […]\n\nThe post Europeans Announce There Nothing Anyone Can Do To Make Them Stop Loving Michael Jackson appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Europeans Announce There Nothing Anyone Can Do To Make Them Stop Loving Michael Jackson"
}