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  "path": "/listerine-leaves-0-1-of-germs-alive-to-spread-message-of-terror-throughout-microbial-community/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-28T17:15:04.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Business",
    "Health + Wellness",
    "Vol 62: Issue 21",
    "Listerine Leaves 0.1% Of Germs Alive To Spread Message Of Terror Throughout Microbial Community",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "SUMMIT, NJ—In a surprise attack of astonishing brutality, oral cavity sources confirmed Thursday that the Listerine inside a local mouth was leaving 0.1% of germs alive in order to spread a message of terror throughout the microbial community. “The mouthwash killed my entire colony and then told me to bear witness to the horrors I […]\n\nThe post Listerine Leaves 0.1% Of Germs Alive To Spread Message Of Terror Throughout Microbial Community appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Listerine Leaves 0.1% Of Germs Alive To Spread Message Of Terror Throughout Microbial Community"
}