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  "path": "/elon-musk-hits-up-text-thread-to-see-if-any-of-his-13-kids-has-ketamine/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-27T18:48:44.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Children",
    "Drugs",
    "Elon Musk",
    "Family",
    "Vol 62: Issue 21",
    "Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids Has Ketamine",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to see if any of his 13 kids had ketamine. “Hey kids, it’s Dad, I’ve just been crashing out hard and need a few bumps of K to get me to the […]\n\nThe post Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids Has Ketamine appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Elon Musk Hits Up Text Thread To See If Any Of His 13 Kids Has Ketamine"
}