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  "path": "/nations-simple-minded-bumpkins-announce-they-dont-mean-no-harm-to-nobody/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-25T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Vol 62: Issue 21",
    "Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued a joint statement Monday confirming they don’t mean no harm to nobody. “We don’t wish no ill ’pon nobody, no sir,” said bumpkin spokesperson Billy Lee “Bubba” Toddums, his beefy hands limp in the pockets of […]\n\nThe post Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody"
}