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  "path": "/dad-rocks-back-and-forth-to-gain-enough-momentum-to-sit-up-from-chair/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-18T21:14:17.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Local",
    "Aging",
    "Dads",
    "Family",
    "Home",
    "Vol 62: Issue 20",
    "Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enough Momentum To Sit Up From Chair",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "HENDERSON, NV—In an effort to rise to his feet from the seated position, local dad Robert Palacios was reportedly rocking back and forth Monday to gain enough momentum to sit up from his chair. According to several reports, the 73-year-old used the mass of his large belly like a pendulum’s counterweight as he oscillated to […]\n\nThe post Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enough Momentum To Sit Up From Chair appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enough Momentum To Sit Up From Chair"
}