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  "path": "/nicer-shampoo-tragically-worth-the-extra-money/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-06T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Local",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Shopping",
    "Vol 62: Issue 6",
    "Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "CHICAGO—Reacting with dismay to the immediate positive results yielded by the hair care product, local woman Taylor Suthers confirmed Thursday that the nicer shampoo she had bought was tragically worth the extra money. “Aw, goddammit, my hair really does look softer and smoother,” said Suthers, who appeared visibly distraught as she ran a hand through her […]\n\nThe post Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money"
}