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  "path": "/lucy-hastings-and-sebastian-gonzalez/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-05T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Weddings",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Vol 62: Issue 6",
    "Lucy Hastings and Sebastián González",
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  "textContent": "Everyone thought it was strange that the least attractive of the sisters was the first to be married, but no one expected the officiant to announce it.\n\nThe post Lucy Hastings and Sebastián González appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Lucy Hastings and Sebastián González"
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