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  "path": "/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-09T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Politics",
    "Animals",
    "Food",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "RFK Jr",
    "Vol 62: Issue 2",
    "Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—After manually prying his eyelids open to read from a report he had prepared on the matter, a badly swollen Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave a speech Tuesday in which he warned that Americans were not eating enough bees. “In our survey of American dietary habits, we were alarmed to find that the vast majority of […]\n\nThe post Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees"
}