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  "path": "/southwest-airlines-begins-assigning-chores/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-17T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Air Travel",
    "Vol 62: Issue 11",
    "Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "DALLAS—Saying the decision had been reached following an extensive internal review of the company’s boarding procedures, Southwest Airlines confirmed Tuesday that passengers would now be assigned chores ahead of time. “There has always been a degree of chaos around passengers having to choose right as they’re boarding how they’re going to help keep the plane […]\n\nThe post Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores"
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