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  "path": "/crab-just-happy-to-be-in-bucket-with-all-his-friends/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-11T16:01:02.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Local",
    "Animals",
    "Vol 62: Issue 9",
    "Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "NEW BEDFORD, MA—Expressing deep gratitude to find himself surrounded by those so dear to his heart, local crab Dan Herscher told reporters Wednesday that he was just happy to be in a bucket with all his friends. “Yes, sir, there’s nothing better than hanging out in a plastic bucket and clambering all over a couple […]\n\nThe post Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Crab Just Happy To Be In Bucket With All His Friends"
}