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  "path": "/tommys-parents-are-out-of-town-lets-party/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-11T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Real Estate",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Vol 61: Issue 50",
    "Tommy’s Parents Are Out Of Town, Let’s Party",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "Tommy’s parents are on a trip up north somewhere, so he’s inviting the whole class over to open his dad’s liquor cabinet. You in? Reference #15937\n\nThe post Tommy’s Parents Are Out Of Town, Let’s Party appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Tommy’s Parents Are Out Of Town, Let’s Party"
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