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  "path": "/study-finds-mourning-loved-ones-a-huge-waste-of-time/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-09T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
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    "Death",
    "Vol 62: Issue 10",
    "Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "PHILADELPHIA—Hailing the discovery as a major step forward in the understanding of human psychology, University of Pennsylvania researchers published a study Monday revealing that mourning loved ones is a huge waste of time. “Contrary to past assumptions, our work suggests grieving a lost family member or friend is really just throwing away precious time on […]\n\nThe post Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time"
}