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  "path": "/kristi-noem-reassigned-to-scarecrow-role-at-usda/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-06T21:20:23.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Politics",
    "Kristi Noem",
    "Vol 62: Issue 9",
    "Kristi Noem Reassigned To Scarecrow Role At USDA",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "WASHINGTON—Characterizing her new role in the middle of an Iowa corn field as a better fit for her skill set, the White House announced Friday that former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem had been reassigned as a scarecrow at the USDA. “While she clearly struggled in her prior position, we realized Kristi still had more […]\n\nThe post Kristi Noem Reassigned To Scarecrow Role At USDA appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Kristi Noem Reassigned To Scarecrow Role At USDA"
}