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  "path": "/prosecutors-unable-to-attend-live-nation-trial-after-scalpers-buy-every-ticket/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-06T17:06:10.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "News",
    "Law",
    "Music",
    "Vol 62: Issue 9",
    "Prosecutors Unable To Attend Live Nation Trial After Scalpers Buy Every Ticket",
    "The Onion"
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  "textContent": "NEW YORK—Jeopardizing the fate of what could be a landmark federal antitrust trial, U.S. prosecutors were reportedly unable to attend the Live Nation trial Friday after scalpers bought every ticket. “Ah, shit, I promised my daughter I was going to prosecute Live Nation for her birthday,” said David E. Dahlquist, a lawyer for the U.S. […]\n\nThe post Prosecutors Unable To Attend Live Nation Trial After Scalpers Buy Every Ticket appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Prosecutors Unable To Attend Live Nation Trial After Scalpers Buy Every Ticket"
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