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  "path": "/pat-yelsh-and-jordan-menz/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-06T14:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Weddings",
    "Former Print Exclusive",
    "Vol 61: Issue 50",
    "Pat Yelsh and Jordan Menz",
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  "textContent": "Statistically speaking, not every wedding is going to be magical.\n\nThe post Pat Yelsh and Jordan Menz appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Pat Yelsh and Jordan Menz"
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