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  "path": "/man-annoyed-he-has-to-chew-current-food-before-he-can-chew-next-food/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-02-19T14:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://theonion.com",
  "tags": [
    "Local",
    "Food",
    "Vol 62: Issue 7",
    "Man Annoyed He Has To Chew Current Food Before He Can Chew Next Food",
    "The Onion"
  ],
  "textContent": "HARTFORD CITY, IN—Growing increasingly frustrated by the time-consuming slog of ingestion, local man Andrew Neel reportedly expressed annoyance Thursday that he must chew the current food in his mouth before he could move on to chewing the next food. “Here I am wasting the whole goddamn day chewing this bite of hamburger when there are […]\n\nThe post Man Annoyed He Has To Chew Current Food Before He Can Chew Next Food appeared first on The Onion.",
  "title": "Man Annoyed He Has To Chew Current Food Before He Can Chew Next Food"
}