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  "path": "/2026/05/27/jesus-never-said-you-cant-do-this-shouts-james-talarico-while-dropkicking-labradoodle-satire/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-27T22:42:17.000Z",
  "site": "https://dissentwatch.com",
  "tags": [
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  "textContent": "AUSTIN, TX — Representative James Talarico was seen today gleefully dropkicking a labradoodle as he assured onlookers that Jesus had never explicitly said that you can’t dropkick a labradoodle.",
  "title": "‘Jesus Never Said You Can’t Do This!’ Shouts James Talarico While Dropkicking Labradoodle (Satire)"
}