{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "bskyPostRef": {
    "cid": "bafyreigfrxwbvtkchjo6jy2av4f32gcehej4lvuao72ivthba23wysg754",
    "uri": "at://did:plc:yhmwewfk3g3hhkrw2gf4ypna/app.bsky.feed.post/3mimlh7qfutm2"
  },
  "coverImage": {
    "$type": "blob",
    "ref": {
      "$link": "bafkreiauwkchffhkwfg2eu5ql63ljmxhm2x2m3n6rou4lmmanp2kr5gumm"
    },
    "mimeType": "image/jpeg",
    "size": 104022
  },
  "path": "/2026/04/03/canadian-astronaut-humanely-euthanized-after-suffering-light-bruise-during-takeoff-satire/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-03T19:37:54.000Z",
  "site": "https://dissentwatch.com",
  "tags": [
    "#Column1"
  ],
  "textContent": "SPACE — In accordance with Canadian law, the crew of NASA’s Artemis II mission successfully euthanized Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen after discovering he’d suffered a light bruise during takeoff.",
  "title": "Canadian Astronaut Humanely Euthanized After Suffering Light Bruise During Takeoff (Satire)"
}