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  "path": "/2026/02/05/the-fresh-fruit-you-bought-is-finally-ripe-update-too-late-its-rotten-satire-2/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-02-05T22:05:17.000Z",
  "site": "https://dissentwatch.com",
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  "textContent": "TUSCON, AZ — Local mom Ashley Marsten announced that she was glad to see the fruit she bought at the store earlier this week was finally ripe and ready to eat, and… oh wait… it’s rotten.",
  "title": "The Fresh Fruit You Bought Is Finally Ripe — UPDATE: Too Late, It’s Rotten (Satire)"
}