{
  "path": "/2026/04/27/stepping-into-the-car/",
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  "tags": [
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    "reflections"
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  "title": "Stepping Into The Car",
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  "description": "So far, 2026 has been a peculiar year in many different ways. It seems to be the year where I'm starting to do things I had been avoiding for quite some time. It first started with swimming, and now driving.",
  "publishedAt": "2026-04-27T07:38:24+02:00",
  "textContent": "So far, 2026 has been a peculiar year in many different ways. It seems to be the year where I'm starting to do things I had been avoiding for quite some time. It first started with swimming, and now driving. So, what's the story? Back in 2019, when I still lived in Lisbon, I got my driving license. Not because I wanted to, but more because I felt it was something expected from me, especially living in Portugal. At the time, I had my lessons in Lisbon, while many I knew chose to take it in their hometowns on the weekends and vacations. Doing it in Lisbon was stressful and maybe not for the reasons you expect. No, it wasn't the hills, even though my driving school was literally at the bottom of one. That was a good way of learning to feel the biting point of the clutch. No. The problem was that I managed to have more than half of my lessons on rush hour in the morning. So busy. So many people. So many hills. Combined with the fact that I wasn't doing it because I liked it. Not good. So I ended up getting the license mid 2019 and driving a car two or three times afterwards. Until last Saturday - spoiler alert -, I hadn't driven for like 5 years. This summer we're attending a wedding in Portugal, and I really didn't want to ask my parents to drive us there, especially because I have no idea when it ends, and I don't want to be bothering. So after Chris insisted a lot I scheduled an opfrisles - a refresher lesson - at his driving school. But. And it's a big but. I think that, for me, driving with an instructor of any sort, will make me even more anxious. So I decided I wanted to drive before the lesson, just to see if I still could do it. Sort of. I installed a few car sharing apps that are available here: Greenwheels and MyWheels. It turns out all cars available in Eindhoven are electric. I assume there's some deal with the municipality, because on other cities there's a lot of diesel (en non-automatic) cars. I've never driven automatic, but I assumed it was just easier. Anyways, it wasn't a manual car - which I'll need to drive in Portugal -, but it was still a car. Last Saturday, I decided to take it for a test drive, and Chris came with me. I had been saying for weeks that I was afraid that I had forgotten everything and could not drive anymore, which I think make Chris more anxious than me, even though he denied it at first. After the drive, he admitted it. I knew it. I felt it. But he said he lost that fear quite fast after we started. That's a good sign. Anyways, for the first drive we just drove a bit around Eindhoven, went to a suburb, reverse parked, then popped into the highway, went to a small town, etc. One hour and a half later, I wonder what my problem was. It was just fine. I hadn't even slept that well that day because of anxiousness. Now I think it's mostly a confidence issue, and the fact that most of my driving experience is with having an instructor next to me that was sometimes a bit too harsh. Yesterday we also visited Chris parents with the same car. In total, I've driven around 200km this weekend and it went just fine. Considering I hadn't driven for 5 years, I'm very surprised on how smooth it actually was. I think not having to bother about gears - and an instructor - helped me, but I'm sure that a car with gears will also be fine. After all, that's what I learned to drive. This last two days were just a glitch in the matrix. At this point, you're thinking: what's the point of the lesson then? Good question. I could just go to another city, and rent a manual car there and go for a drive. But I've already paid for the lesson, so I can't go back. I think it's still good. I have an hour and fifteen minutes lesson in about one and a half week. I think I'll ask the instructor mostly to do a refresher on the different types of parking. I had to parallel parking uphill - thanks Lisbon - during my driving exam and it was a nightmare. But I did it, so I'm sure I can do it again. Not just parking, but the lesson will also be in a manual car, so that's also good for refreshing and feeling the car. So... the fear of driving is still there. I think if I start driving more, it will eventually be fine. I feel it mostly before starting to drive. When I start, my brain just turns on some hyper focus mode and I no longer feel anxious. There's still a small barrier, but I'm happy I'm crossing it. Chris is also taking driving lessons, so we might buy a car towards the end of the year. If we both drive, it'll open some possibilities. I've been wanting to take a trip to Iceland, and it's a must to be able to drive around. There's a few roadtrips we can do. Well, thanks for reading my rambling. Let's hope the lesson goes smoothly. I still might want to pop into a different city next weekend and try a manual car. Maybe."
}