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  "path": "/articles/whales-ahoy",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-26T06:30:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://thedailywtf.com",
  "tags": [
    "Feature Articles",
    "crazed whales",
    "Send them to us!",
    "Learn more."
  ],
  "textContent": "The waters are even more dangerous than we imagined. Have a look at some of the crazed whales our brave submitters and commenters have encountered in the wild.\n\nFirst comes an **Anonymous** tale of woe:\n\n> Our company makes apps for businesses. We have 1 MAIN client whose CEO can make or break our company, and his wish is our command. He sent a priority email on a Friday night saying the app was slow and needed to be fixed.\n>\n> The client CEO is so important that he works directly with our CEO, who decided to PM this huge issue.\n>\n> All weekend, we were trying out tons of different things to optimize this \"slow\" app that \"wasn't loading or refreshing.\" We deployed the app Monday night after a weekend of unpaid overtime (darn salary). On Tuesday, the account manager made a bug card to officially represent the work we did, and they posted a previously-unseen video of the slowness.\n>\n> There is a refresh icon that spins when clicked. The video was of the refresh icon, and it was spinning for an extra second after the data loaded (and jumping 2 pixels from padding styling).\n>\n> That is what was high priority.\n>\n> I mean, we all hate the system, but sometimes the system is actually there to protect us.\n\nNext, we have **Daniel Orner's** ongoing peril:\n\n> We do digital flyers/circulars/ads. Eight years ago, that meant we got PDFs from retailers and turned them into digital content. One huge retailer (hundreds of stores) wanted a dynamically-created flyer that would have up-to-date pricing twice a day. We didn't have time to build out a full digital solution (which would have made sense), so instead we spent six months banging together a solution with spit and duct tape which baked out hundreds of PDFs every morning and afternoon. This one retailer was responsible for about 40% of our processing power.\n>\n> We're finally getting somewhat closer to phasing this out, but \"it worked\" for this long ...\n\nFinally, let's be grateful **Brian** escaped with his life!\n\n> Worked for a company that was building a component of a high-profile weapons platform for one of the major military suppliers. We had taken over the project from another company that was under-performing, so we were already behind schedule from the minute the contract was signed. Of course this company saw fit to treat us more as a subsidiary than a subcontractor. Including, for a time, sending one of their own managers to sit in our lab and observe (read: babysit) us. On Saturdays. Then they demanded we start working shifts to make more use of the lab equipment, and I got the bad draw: 3 AM - noon. Never mind that I had just gotten married (they actually called to tell me this while I was on vacation the week after my wedding) and would like to actually spend some time with my wife ...\n>\n> That experience soured me on the whole military-industrial complex for a long time. To this day I still get headhunters pinging me to work for that megacorp; I just chuckle and delete their messages.\n\n**Have these tales knocked loose any foul memories that your brain tried to repress? Send them to us!**\n\n[Advertisement] ProGet’s got you covered with security and access controls on your NuGet feeds. Learn more.",
  "title": "Whales Ahoy!"
}