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  "path": "/post/811794998340239360",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-22T14:00:40.000Z",
  "site": "https://echo.tumblr.com",
  "tags": [
    "bougiebutchbinch"
  ],
  "textContent": "bougiebutchbinch:\n\n> bougiebutchbinch:\n>\n>> bougiebutchbinch:\n>>\n>>> bougiebutchbinch:\n>>>\n>>>> ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:\n>>>>\n>>>> 1. “Five second rule!” while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor **(no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone’s buttholes puckered)**\n>>>>\n>>>> 2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) “Nurse - my tunes.” :heavy metal starts blasting:\n>>>>\n>>>> 3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: “It’s going to be okay. I promise, I’ve dealt with worse.”\n> As soon as the patient is unconscious: “This is literally the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”\n>>>>\n>>>> 4. [okay this one was a med student] “Wowwww, that’s so gross!!”\n> Reg: “Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure.”\n> Student to patient: “Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - ”\n> Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what’s happening inside them on the screen: “Nah - it’s, like, super gross, right?”\n>>>>\n>>>> 5. [another procedure where the patient couldn’t be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure*\n> Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*\n>>>\n>>> okay okay there’s more\n>>>\n>>> 6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: “I need you to pretend you’re in church.” [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]\n>>>\n>>> Anaethetist’s new reg with big, horrified eyes: “You mean we should start _praying???_ ”\n>>>\n>>>\n>\n>>>\n>>> 7. Panicking rad tech: “Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am _not paid enough_ if I break it. Can you - ”\n>>>\n>>> Surgeon, casual as: “Yeah, sure.”\n>>>\n>>> :violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:\n>>>\n>>>\n>\n>>>\n>>> 8. ODP to theatre assistant: “Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you.”\n>>>\n>>> Theatre assistant: “Thanks! it grew on me :)”\n>>>\n>>> Surgeon, pleadingly, within accidental snipping distance of the patient’s spinal cord: “Guys, do NOT make me laugh.”\n>>\n>> OH MY GOD I FORGOT -\n>>\n>> 9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I’m having barbeque tonight.\n>>\n>> New med student: 👀\n>\n> and the classique:\n>\n> Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli’s getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?\n>\n> Me: I mean. There’s a pretty long wait list\n>\n> Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight\n>\n> Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff\n>\n> Spinal surgeon: only if they catch me",
  "title": "ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:"
}