Unrelated to RPGs, but I had a dream where I had the rules of heaven explained to me, and here they are:
Probably Bad RPG Ideas [Unofficial]
May 22, 2026
- Any animal you put salt on goes to heaven with you when you die (there are lots of slugs in heaven).
- If you insult a Pokemon even once, believe it or not? Straight to hell.
- (Incidentally, Hell recently stopped tormenting people because they’re trying to find the soul of Walter White from Breaking Bad. The demons thought it was a documentary and the damned don’t want to correct them, you know?)
- Heaven has a library with every book and a library with every magazine. When you die, you have to choose which you want before you can go to Heaven.
- Every ten years you get vacation days and can go to either earth or hell. They recommend earth but it’s your choice really.
- The damned also get vacation days. Please don’t bother the damned souls while they’re up here, they have it bad enough already.
- God is a horse. Please don’t bring it up, he’s pretty sensitive about it.
- If you have issues with Heaven, don’t worry! There’s a basement and if you complain, you get to go in the basement until you stop complaining.
- Contrary to popular belief, heaven doesn’t last forever. It lasts for an average of 10 billion years (depending on how much technology you want in your heaven house). At the end, you turn into a cake and everyone eats you.
Please remake your setting’s celestial planes in accordance with these rules, thank you.
- Pencil
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