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  "path": "/2126597/army-general-too-drunk-leaves-classified-do/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-18T17:43:09.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.jalopnik.com",
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  "textContent": "Dawg, I'm sorry, but if you're in charge of something this important, maybe cut down on the drinking. Lock in a little bit, ya know?",
  "title": "Army General Gets A Little Too Drunk And Leaves Classified Documents On A European Train"
}