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  "publishedAt": "2026-05-31T05:35:00.000Z",
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  "textContent": "|  [link] [11 comments]\n---|---",
  "title": "Man banned from all Six Flags parks for life after eating chicken nuggets on roller coaster. Man, and I thought they were overreacting when they banned me for that 'dismember a goat' thing [Facepalm]"
}