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  "description": "I was there for you. And I expect you to be there for me one day, when my day comes.",
  "path": "/the-rural-juror/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-15T10:30:11.000Z",
  "site": "https://danielkherndon.com",
  "tags": [
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    "most Americans",
    "becoming a Founder",
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  "textContent": "__You're reading The Lorem Ipsum by Daniel Herndon. A Funny Email About Serious Topics. Make sure your inbox isn't left out.___****Sign up****_ here_****.****_\n\n* * *\n\nHey Friends,\n\nIt's your civic duty to serve.\n\nEvery day, some criminal libertine faces a judge, and it's your job as a fellow citizen to be there in the gap for him to demonstrate that it's hard to prove a crime that was committed when no one was looking.\n\nI fulfilled that duty this week.\n\nAlmost.\n\nI received the honorable commission from the Marion County Criminal Justice Center, located right by Rural Avenue in Indianapolis. I'm reminded of the Rural Juror from 30 Rock. This time, I am that Rural Juror.\n\nThey requested my appearance, to dutifully serve my community, and my country (but at minimum, my county) by being considered for jury duty.\n\nConsider it done, I said. I showed up with my shirt tucked in and a local version of patriotism, to be a prospective 8% of the only thing between one man and the gas chamber (or maybe 180 days time served plus a fine not to exceed $2,000).\n\nThe defendant was being charged with an act of domestic violence, causing injury to his pregnant wife.\n\nI was the last person of 200 people to be questioned, and the question after hours of deliberation was \"And, what about you, Juror number 37?\"\n\nI said, \"What do you want to know? I've been on the board of an anti-domestic violence organization for some 10 years.\" Just then, the judge told the defense their time was up.\n\nI was dismissed after four and a half hours of service to my ~~country~~ county.\n\nYou're welcome.\n\nWas I writing a newsletter? No. Was I driving millions of dollars in sales to create jobs across America? No. I was selflessly waiting to be fair and impartial on behalf of my fellow citizen, a criminal.\n\nWho was, by the way, definitely guilty.\n\nLet's get to **_The News_**.\n\n* * *\n\n  * President Trump continues to celebrate the victories of his war in Iran. As Trump says, Iran is a dried cracker with no milk. While a report from his intelligence administration this week contradicted his claims about Iran's ability to respond. Basically, if his team, which doesn't have a PR department, is correct, they are the Ritz crackers, and while it may only be 70% of what they had before, they have a whole block of cheese.\n  * Alex Murdaugh, the attorney in a true crime hit saga, was eventually convicted of the murder of his wife and son, apparently to cover up massive financial crimes. This week, his murder conviction was overturned, requiring a new trial. Thankfully, he has more than 40 years of prison time to work before he dies/get's released to clear his name of murder.\n  * Trump met with Xi, and the only takeaway we have is that, during a wide-stance handshake, Trump tried to pull Xi's hand down to his junk.\n\n\n\n  * Dr. Oz, in an Oval Office press conference/presidential nap, said that most Americans are \"underbabied.\" That's it! That's the take!\n\n\n\n* * *\n\nThat's it for this week.\n\n**_Remember_** : The Lorem Ipsum is fair and impartial, and always just. Share a copy with a jury's worth of your peers.\n\n**_Have a great weekend!_**\n\n* * *\n\n❤️\n\nIf you want to support my work, consider becoming a Founder for $5/mo or just leave a tip.\n\nSupported by ****HRNDN Brand Agency****. Brand Strategy. Marketing Leadership.",
  "title": "The Rural Juror",
  "updatedAt": "2026-05-15T10:30:12.300Z"
}