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  "description": "“He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”",
  "path": "/stephen-miller-calls-ice-on-commissary-baggers-for-asking-him-to-tip/",
  "publishedAt": "2025-11-12T13:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.duffelblog.com",
  "tags": [
    "called Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)",
    "bragging about base privileges",
    "armed ICE agents stormed the building",
    "members of this mafia",
    "circumcision-related head injury",
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  ],
  "textContent": "WASHINGTON — White House advisor Stephen Miller reportedly called Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) on commissary baggers after being asked for a tip, witnesses confirmed Monday.\n\n“He was just bragging about base privileges — tax-free groceries, forced neighborly smiles, that kind of thing,” said commissary manager John Willingstone. “But then a bagger asked for a dollar, and he lost his mind.”\n\nWillingstone added: “He screamed that tipping was socialism and threw a can of creamed corn at the nearest enlisted kid.”\n\nSecurity footage shows Miller berating a group of elderly Filipino baggers after they loaded his trunk with groceries. Minutes later, a black SUV screeched up to the curb and armed ICE agents stormed the building, zip-tying anyone holding plastic bags or wearing boots. Meanwhile, a second group of ICE agents fast-roped from a hovering Black Hawk and flash-banged the produce section.\n\n“They were all Filipino, and if they were working for tips they didn’t have real jobs,” Miller said when asked for comment. “They are suspected members of this mafia I keep hearing about. We need to get them out of the country. Yes, it is unfortunate that two 60-year-old women tried to resist arrest, but our agents had no choice but to shoot them in the back more than a dozen times.”\n\nMultiple Hispanic, Asian, Black, and Native American service members inside the commissary were also detained “just in case,\" Miller said, denying any racial motivations while claiming that questions about his actions were antisemitic.\n\n“With these people gone, imagine the wait times at sick call, or the traffic at the gates in the morning. The wait times will be just as long for no reason...” said Miller stopping his speech and staring straight ahead for several seconds.\n\nBase medical staff say Miller may be experiencing the long-term effects of a circumcision-related head injury, though no one can confirm who performed the operation or why it was done with gardening shears.\n\nMiller was last seen at a base housing key party, reportedly seated in the cuck chair.\n\nLeave a comment\n\n🖊️\n\n _****Red Friday****_ __wants you to Remember EVERYONE Deployed__\n\n Navy kicks off ‘Incel to Intel’ recruiting campaignThe service’s novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.Duffel BlogGray Sea LiuNavy: Tagalog To Phase Out English As Official LanguageThe United States Navy will change its standard operating language from English to Tagalog to account for the ever-growing Filipino majority.Duffel BlogDuffel Blog StaffNavy says lava field near base housing area may be unsafeIt’s still better than contaminated drinking water, amirite?Duffel BlogW.E. LindeTrump proposes cutting housing allowance for troops with unattractive spousesPresident Donald Trump is proposing a controversial plan that would cut the military’s basic allowance for housing for troops married to unattractive spouses, Duffel Blog has learned.Duffel BlogDuffel Blog StaffPacific Fleet Claims Garbage Island As US TerritoryGarbage Island is located in a convergence zone of the North Pacific Gyre.Duffel BlogDuffel Blog Staff",
  "title": "Stephen Miller calls ICE on commissary baggers for asking him to tip",
  "updatedAt": "2026-03-08T19:32:40.291Z"
}