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  "path": "/26/05/0048981-at-long-last-i-have-maxxi",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-21T14:30:00.000Z",
  "site": "https://kottke.org",
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  "textContent": "At Long Last, I Have Maxximized My Looks. “Apparently, eating a fistful of iguana tranquilizers for breakfast every morning has turned me cold-blooded, and I am no longer appropriately adapted for life on the Earth’s surface.”",
  "title": "At Long Last, I Have Maxximized My Looks ....",
  "updatedAt": "2026-05-21T14:30:00.000Z"
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