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  "path": "/26/03/0048630-jesus-clarifies-return-wi",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-30T23:40:52.000Z",
  "site": "https://kottke.org",
  "tags": [
    "Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business"
  ],
  "textContent": "Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business. “My sole focus during this Second Coming will be various woodworking projects and not the establishment of a messianic kingdom.”",
  "title": "Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To...",
  "updatedAt": "2026-03-30T23:40:52.000Z"
}