{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "canonicalUrl": "https://serpentsquiggles.neocities.org//posts/fiction/murder-drones/rampant-regressionism",
  "description": "juzi age regression au",
  "path": "/posts/fiction/murder-drones/rampant-regressionism",
  "publishedAt": "2024-05-05T00:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "at://did:plc:ivoe7cntxuy6at7uzmxzs2ft/site.standard.publication/3mfk6cpprzt2t",
  "textContent": "okay so, the idea goes something like this\n\nit's the middle of the night, and j's squad just got back from a hunt.\nJ's dragging her squad into the pod to transmit a report via the relay.\n(n has found some toy or cool rock that he's focused on; j berates him\nfor the distraction and destroys it in front of him)\n\nwhen theyre in the pod and j's poking them to debrief, v would say\nit's pointless, but j would insist that it's their jobs to report\neverything to corporate\n\nas they're leaving the pod, N asks V out on a date, and V aloofly\nbrushes him aside, and J sneers at him, telling him to give it up. then\nshe strikes up conversation with V herself, telling her the night is\nyoung enough they could go on a second hunt together, just the two of\nthem. V is like, haven't they already done enough for the night? but\nhow else will they make top team? (J might have another motivation, of\ncourse)\n\nV rolls her eyes and accept, but still snubs J by suggesting they may as\nwell bring the other one with them. N gushes in excitement, and J\nfacepalms.\n\nthe next hunt takes them to an office tower crawling with workers. n\nhesitates or tries to talk to them in a way that deeply disappoints j.\nshe kicks him to get back to work. in the final boss room of the office\ntower, they take down a competent and resourceful worker. importantly,\nthis worker had already defeated a disassembly drone, and they kept\ntheir core in an oven like alice's\n\nj finds the disassembler's corpse --- serial designation S according\nto the arm band --- and carries it and the core back to the spire. after\nhow useless n was, j fantasizes about nursing this drone back to health,\nadding them to her squad, and then eliminating redundancy. then they'd\nbe like a well oiled machine --- making top team for sure.\n\nback in the pod, j is recounting the events of her hunt to the uncaring\nsilence of the relay. year after year, night are night, j has\ntransmitted her reports. (sometimes, in her weaker moments, she turned\nto the relay to pour out her frustrations, doubts, and aspirations). but\nthere is no reply to anything j sends; nothing except a beep of\nacknowledgement\n\nas j's recounting nears the end, she's at the point where she ought to\nmention S. and it's here that J hesitates. she already loved the idea\nof adding them to her team, but it had been a private thought. she\ndidn't want to tell her team what she was planning; that'd be bad for\nmorale more than that, she realizes she's anxious of even telling\ncorporate. team assignments are up to them --- she could never have a\nnew member without official paperwork.\n\nand this drone had a squad of their own, didn't they? they'd want them\nback, corporate would tell J to give S back to them, and J would have\nto listen, because she always follows orders.\n\nbut if she didn't say, kept it a secret? then she wouldn't be\ndisobeying anything, would she? it'd be off the books.\n\nbut loyalty isn't just following the letter of the law. J knows a\neffective drone would report all relevant information. so she gets over\nher own selfish fantasies, and reports her recovery of S's core.\n\nand this prompts what none of J's reports ever had: a verbal response.\n\nYou are hereby ordered to destroy the core.\n\nJ freezes. and suddenly, the fantasy she'd already harbored doubts of\nhad been confirmed insolvent. she didn't understand why, she wanted to\nplead, demands answers, argue with them.\n\nbut J always followed orders. and especially with her team watching her?\nshe had an example to set.\n\nso she dismantles her dream with her own hands.\n\nthe relay is silent after that, and J feels empty.\n\nthere's just one other thing to take care of. N put in a truly pitiful\nperfomance in today's missions. so as punishment, J corners him,\nattacks, ripping off his limbs and stabbing her tail into his stomach,\njust beyond the reach of his mouth. he'll survive, if he's clever\nabout it. it'll teach him resourcefulness in addition to discipline.\n\nas J goes to sleep, she thinks about what she just destroyed.\n\nshe's woken up partway through the day. V had gone to N in the middle\nof the night, reattaching his limbs and spitting on his acid wound. as J\nwatches, V's touch lingers a minute longer than it needs to. N thanks\nher and reaches out for a hug, and V lets it happen.\n\nJ falls from the ceiling, unable to contain the irritation lashing her\ntail. then both of her squadmates are startled from the sound of J\nlaunching into the air. but J is flying away. the sun has already risen,\nso J can't leave the spire. she just hides away in some obscure nook,\nunseen.\n\nand there, J twitches and shakes even as she keeps her mask of\ncomposure. did V express more affection for the liability than J? but\nwhat did that matter. was she stuck with these two forever? but what did\nthat matter. would S have thanked her with a hug once she'd finished\nrepairing them? what did that matter. corporate had given the order and\nshe'd executed it.\n\nso she did all this, gave everything she had, for nothing more than a\nbeep of acknowledgment from corporate. but there's a lot of teams,\nit'd have to be an overwhelming stream of reports. if J wants\nattention, she just needs to distinguish herself. they'd definitely\nhave time to hold meetings with the top team\n\nshe just has to keep pushing herself. keep going. and then she---\n\nwhat did this matter? effective drones didn't brood in the corner. she\nforces her features into a neutral mask, and returns to her sleeping\nperch.\n\nthe next day, V is back to ignoring and forgetting N. sometimes she\ngives odd looks, sometimes she is a little slow to fly away from his\nconversation prompts. but J can at least smirk a little satisfaction\nthat whatever that was last night, it didn't last.\n\nit flared up, every so often, but it never lasted. N wouldn't have kept\nup this long if there was no hope, if there had never been fleeting\nmoments where her composure slips.\n\nat least when J slipped she did it where none of her squad could see.\n\nthe missions continue. J doesn't pull any more double hunts --- some\nnights she wakes up, opens her eyes, stares blankly for a while, then\ncloses them, hanging limp. then she reminds herself she'll never make\ntop team unless she gets up and grinds, so she gets up and grinds.\n\nwhen she breaks, it's something small. she chases a worker through a\nchildren's costume shop. in place of mannequins, there's the short\nframes of deactived worker drones. her prey tries to disguise themselves\nas one, but J's senses are too keen, and she cuts them down, stains the\nracks with their oil. then as she's carrying them back, she sees a\nworker wearing a maid outfit.\n\nJ freezes and stares it long enough you'd wonder if a core process\ncrashed. but she snaps out of it and ends the mission.\n\nwhen she goes to sleep that night, she remembers wearing a maid outfit.\n\nshe wakes up, and thinks about her dreams. she relives the memory of\nseeing that maid outfit, and wonders what it is lingering in hardrive,\nhalf-forgotten and straining to be remembered.\n\nJ keeeps thinking about it, puzzling over the dreams, in the slow\nmoments in the nights to come. then one day, she's reminiscing while\nperched on a rooftop while V flushes some drones out of a building ---\nJ's so distracted one of them gets away. that had never happened\nbefore. V taunts her about it until J chops off one of her arms. she's\nlucky J didn't go for the head. ~~but she had a point, after all~~\n\nthat night, J remains in the pod after everyone else delivers their\nreports. with no one around to see her weakness, she turns on the relay\nagain. one more thing, she says. i think i might... need a break. a\nvacation. something to clear my head.\n\nat this, once again, corporate finally deigns to respond\n\nDenied.\n\nJ doesn't scream, because then her squad would hear her. but rather\nthan going to her sleeping perch, she goes to that obscure hook, hidden\nfrom sight. she twitches and shakes. she thinks about the maid uniform.\n\nand maybe she falls asleep there. maybe she thinks so hard she pulls on\nthat thread of memory until it unravels. maybe she finally breaks and\nstarts outright hallucinating.\n\nbut she's wearing the maid uniform. and she feels fine, not stricken\nby drought. and she's not alone. there's a voice murmuring to her,\nholding her, giving her orders she feels so happy to carry out.\n\nand then she wakes up and it's time to grind again. but when the night\nis over, she can come back to that hiding spot and think about being a\nmaid again.\n\nif N or V notice the piles of scrap around the spire are tidier and\nsorted, they don't comment on it.\n\none hunt takes them to an office supply store, and J raids it for paper\nand ink. when V asks, J says it's for paperwork.\n\nthe truth is she's started drawing again. she draws herself as a worker\ndrone wearing a maid dress. she draws the human --- she can't remember\nthe face, but they has such expressive eyes. she draws serial\ndesignation S.\n\nshe enjoys it. she spends so much time hiding, reliving her memories and\ndrawing them out that on a few nights she forgets to hunt at all.\n\nthen N bothers her, saying he's worried she's overheating, so he\nbrought her some oil. she snaps about not needing charity, and hits him.\n\nthen one day, j comes back to her secret hiding spot to find v there,\nlaughing at her drawings. J nearly kills her on the spot, but V's words\nstop her in her tracks. so this is what J's been doing instead of\nworking.\n\nj attempts a jargon-filled denial, but v cuts through all of it.\n\n\"we're supposed to report everything to corporate, aren't we, j? i\nthink they'd want to hear about what my squad leader has been spending\nso much time on.\"\n\nj demands she doesn't, but v doesn't respond well to demands. j begs,\nand v decides she'll let it drop. under a condition.\n\n\"make me team leader,\" v says. j's confused, so v waves her hand.\n\"i'm sure you can make up some paperwork. just say 'i, sd-j, hereby\ntransfer all mission authority to v' or something.\"\n\nbut you have no aptitude for leading!\n\n\"i'll hav",
  "title": "Rampant Regressionism"
}