{
  "$type": "site.standard.document",
  "canonicalUrl": "https://serpentsquiggles.neocities.org//posts/fiction/murder-drones/juzi-pet",
  "path": "/posts/fiction/murder-drones/juzi-pet",
  "publishedAt": "2025-07-27T00:00:00.000Z",
  "site": "at://did:plc:ivoe7cntxuy6at7uzmxzs2ft/site.standard.publication/3mfk6cpprzt2t",
  "textContent": "Three drones sat on a couch.  A recent acquisition---back when V tried\nto decorate on that first naïve year after landing, J had shredded her\nfurnishings, lectured her on distractions from their mission;\ndisassembly drones had no time for softness.\n\nThen last month, when that purple thing complained about having\nnowhere to sit, J gave the order to find and drag seating arrangements\nall the back to the spire.  She'd rattled off criterion V barely\nunderstood---deep seat, double chaise, microfiber upholstery---and\nthen refused the first one they found, forcing her and N to double\nback again for another one.\n\nAnything for her fucking favorite, V thought.  At least she had\nsomewhere to kick back now.  And that wasn't even the only new\ncomfort.  That toaster had found an old television then spent a day or\ntwo tinkering with its guts (metaphorical guts---and not even the fun\nkind of artificial analog).\n\nWhen finished, she loaded up on old shows.  V had overheard enough\nconversations to know the purple thing would talk the receiver off\nanyone who would listen (i.e. not her) about old human cartoons like\nthis.  Now they could see what the fuss was about.\n\nThis latest one was about some kid who wanted to be king of the\nninjas. And honestly?  Kinda kicks ass.\n\nIf only she could focus on the throwing knives and ninja spells.\n\nAfter all, there were three drones on the couch.\n\nSpace wasn't an issue.  Double chaise meant this thing was huge (so\ndragging it halfway across the city was a pain).  In fact, V even had\nmost of it all to herself right now.\n\nBecause the other two were on top of each other, the purple thing\ncurled up on J's lap.\n\nThree whole cushions between V and them and it still wasn't enough\ndistance.\n\nJ's tail looped around the toaster's legs, binding them together,\nwhile her hips slowly, rhythmically grinded forward.  Serving no\npurpose but to make metallic hissing and clinking noises,\ninterruptting the show's dialogue.  V didn't care so much about all\nthe yapping, but she'd rather listen to those cheesy speeches than\nthis.\n\nJ's arm had long ago slipped under the worker's shirt, probably\nfingering the edges of her core.  One of the worker's hands had\nfollowed it in, and the flutter of fabric suggested they'd gotten up\nto something.  The worker's other hand trailed down, grabbing J's\nthigh, creeping under her skirt.\n\nThe thing's screen was a mess of hazy purple, eyes lidded and blush\nmaxed out.  The watching yellow eyes above were focused, intent,\nhungry.  J's other hand hovered around the thing's face, at times\ncaressing, at times suckled by drooling lips.  The captain murmured\nsome nonsense and the toaster smiled, nodding.  The free hand rose up\nand cradled the head now, fingers running through locks of violet,\nscratching or petting.\n\nAnd the thing fucking moaned.\n\n\"Gross!\"\n\nPurple eyes snapped open.  \"V!  We were having a moment, c'mon.\"\n\n\"Have it by yourselves.  I didn't come here to watch your weird\ncuddlefucking.\"\n\nUzi crossed her arms.  \"Seems like you found it more interesting than\nthe show.\"\n\n\"Nah, my instincts just think my squadmate has a helpless meal trapped\nin her claws.  And she does, but the only thing she's killing is\nher self-respect.\"\n\n\"That's enough, V.  Can it.  Or do I need to write you up for\nharassment?\"\n\n\"Oh, but you get free rein to harass my eyes with your---\"\n\n\"I said can it.\"\n\n\"What happened to keeping things professional, J?\"\n\nJ looked away.  Huffed.  \"I see no issue with bonding exercises to\nwelcome Uzi into the fold.\"\n\nYeah, you'd definitely welcome her into your folds, if you had any.\nGagging at the intrusive mental image, V just rolled her eys.  \"So\nthat's what we're calling it.\"\n\n\"Unlike you, I'm striving to create a supportive environment for our\nnew intern.\"\n\nAnd where was that support when I was---  No.  A deep breath.  I'm\nover it. It's been years.  I'm over it.\n\nShe said, \"Intern, huh?  No, I don't thinks so.\"\n\nJ raised an eyebrow.  \"You don't think so?\"\n\nV smirked with teeth, glancing between the two.  \"More like your pet.\"\n\nUzi jerked forward, quickly enough she might have fallen off \nif not held by J.  \"I am _not_ a pet.  Right, J?\"  She looked at J,\nand the way the thing's lips curled said it all.\n\n\"Got her trained well, eh J?\"  V grinned.\n\nJ glared, but her intern spoke first.\n\n\"I'm not trained, I'm my own person.\"\n\n\"Nah, you pretend to be a person, but it's obvious all you really are.\nIt took what, a few headpats to turn you into a mewling kitten?\"\n\n\"We were having a moment!  It was special!\"\n\n\"It was a few fingers scratching the right spot.  I could do that,\nnothing special about it.\"\n\n\"Oh yeah?  Then prove it.\"\n\n\"Gotta try harder to bait me into your kinks.\"\n\n\"You literally just suggested it.\"\n\n\"Didn't like that defense when I bit you.  Hypocrite.\"\n\n\"Tsundere!\"\n\nJ cleared her throat.  \"V, drop it.  Uzi, she won't be touching you.\"\n\nV just laughed.  \"What's wrong?  Worried I'm gonna steal your pet if\nshe realizes she can get her kicks without the buzzwords or the stick\nin the ass?\"\n\n\"She could never replace you, J,\" Uzi said.  \"And V?  Put up or shut\nup.\"\n\n\"Fine.  But don't ask me to do it again.\"  With a show of relunctance,\nV crawled over the three couch cushions, eyes on J.  Her boss kept a\nglare pointed back.  Her gauntleted arms curled tighter around Uzi as\nV reached out.\n\nPat pat pat.  V watched, and Uzi stared back blankly.  V tried\nrubbing left and right, and Uzi arched a brow.\n\nV tsked.  \"No fair. You're just hiding your reaction.\"\n\n\"How could I do that, if I'm just a, what was it, mewling kitty?\" Uzi\nasked. \"I don't see why you're surprised.  I mean, it's just a few\nfingers scratching, right?  Nothing special.\"\n\n\"So what was all that earlier?\"\n\nInstead of responding, Uzi looked up pleading.  \"J?\"  \n\nWhen her boss looked away from the annoying subordinate, her gaze\nsoftened immediately.  Her voice a soft whisper.  \"You want pets?\nWho's my good little worker?\"\n\nUzi wiggled her hips into her seat---J---and leaned back into that\nembrace.  \"I am~\"\n\nJ brought her hand back to purple hair and let her fingers splay out\nthen curled anew.  Her other hand arrived to brush against the\nsynthetic skin of her cheek.\n\nUzi sighed out, her lips curling into something indulgent.\n\n\"Oh hell no, I am not doing all that.\"\n\nUzi looked at her.  \"Okay,\" she said.\n\nV growled and jumped back, flipping midair to land back in her spot on\nthe couch.  She got a good few minutes of staring at the screen before\nshe had to glance over to see the latest display.  Uzi hugged J's\nlarger arm.  At its widest, J's transmodular gauntlet was almost as\nthick as the worker.  So tiny.\n\nFocus on the show, V.\n\nAnd so she did, watching the protagonist struggle to learn a powerful\nnew technique.  Then, to her surprise, she had a different\ndistraction.\n\n\"Nature transformation, huh?\" she mumbled.\n\n\"What is it now, V?\"\n\n\"Funny coincidence, is all.  They can make all the right handsigns,\nbut if they don't, what, add in the right 'chakra' nature then nothing\nhappens, right?\"\n\nUzi glanced at the screen for the first time in quite a while.\n\"That's, uh, about how I remember it, yeah.\"\n\n\"Sound familiar?  Guess I must've been missing some magic element,\nearlier.  Probably something gross.  Don't tell me it's love\nrelease.\"  She pronounced 'love' like some species of newt.\n\n\"It's not like that.  It's... simpler?  Like, if it's a secret\ntechnique, well, what do you think it's for?\"\n\n\"Dunno, I just wanted to make you make stupid pet noises again.\"\n\n\"And that's kinda the problem.  J knows that I like it and wanted to\nmake me feel good.  It's the fact that she cares that makes it\nso---\" as if to demonstrate, J hugged her and Uzi let out a long\nhum \"---yeah.  You, though?  You try your hardest not to care about\nanything.\"\n\nV scoffed. \"It's how you stay sane around here.\"\n\n\"Sure, but lonely too, yeah?\"  Uzi frowned, looking at V sitting as\nfar away as she can get.  \"Do you want to feel what it's like?\"\n\n\"You can't make me---\"\n\nUzi put up her hands.  \"Not gonna make you.  If you don't wanna, it's\ncompletely fine.  I won't push.\"  Uzi paused.  \"Though I did let you\npet me, so I think it's fair to get payback.\" \n\nOh, that's what she meant.\n\nV narrowed her eyes, and uncrossed her arms enough to turn one hand\ninto three claws.  \"Don't forget I can stab you, though.\"\n\n\"Don't forget J knows how to make every second of disassembly\npainful.\"\n\nJ brandished her own trio of claws.  With her hand removed, Uzi\nclimbed up and slowly approached V.  J's hand almost seemed to reach\nout after her, but consciously dropped back after a moment.\n\n\"We doing this?\"\n\nV shrugged.  \"Just so we're even.  Get it over with.\"\n\n\"You're a bit tall so...\" Uzi stood atop the cushion (J sucked her\nteeth behind her), but it gave her height over the slouching V.  The\nmurder drone softly laughed at her under her breath.\n\nV's head was split by a handband stubbed with lemon-yellow orbs.\n\"Watch the eyes,\" V warned.\n\nUzi rolled her own.  \"I know.\"\n\nHer hand gentle touched the silver hair, and every joint in V went\nrigid.\n\n\"You good?\"  Uzi pulled her hand back.\n\nV hissed.  \"I'm not scared.  Nothing happened.\"\n\n\"Okay,\" she said.  \"Everything's fine then?\"\n\n\"Don't patronize me.  That wasn't even a pat, you just barely touched\nmy hair.\" \n\n\"If you insist.\"  Uzi returned, descending with more pressure now.\n\"It's nice hair though.  J's hair grows sometimes, but yours is always\nso short.  Do you cut it?\"\n\nV grunted.  \"It's the only thing in the mirror I recognize.\"\n\n\"That sucks.\"  Uzi gently scratched.  \"It is pretty distinct though.\nOne of the things I look at a lot, since the three of you are such\nsimilar models.\"\n\n\"Huh.  Didn't know you paid attention to anyone but your boss.\"\n\nUzi rubbed deeper.  V's body had remained mostly still, but her head\nstarted minutely shifting, responding to the touch.\n\n\"I mean,\" Uzi started, blushing.  \"I find J hot and since the three of\nyou are so s---\"\n\nV's leg snapped up whip-quick and kicked Uzi away.  \"Aaand you made it\ngross.  Ugh.  ",
  "title": "Headpat Techniques"
}