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  "publishedAt": "2026-05-18T17:11:36.000Z",
  "site": "https://www.portlandmercury.com",
  "tags": [
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    "THE TRASH REPORT: On Sweatpants, Underpants, and Toilets (But Cute!)",
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  "textContent": "Hello, Trash Pandas! Welcome to another Trash Report. I am the garbage mother, Elinor Jones, here to regale you with gossip and the news. Or rather, my thoughts on gossip and the news, which are much more fun. Pour some sparkling water into that chardonnay and add a couple of ice cubes to keep her […]\n\nThe post THE TRASH REPORT: On Sweatpants, Underpants, and Toilets (But Cute!) appeared first on Portland Mercury.",
  "title": "THE TRASH REPORT: On Sweatpants, Underpants, and Toilets (But Cute!)"
}