SAVAGE LOVE: Homework
Homepage - Portland Mercury [Unofficial]
March 17, 2026
Is being queer a test you can pass/fail? And how much studying should one do to be poly?
by Dan Savage I’m a 50-year-old married bisexual American man living in Europe with my wife and kids. The “bi” part of me is still extremely new. Two years ago, I started seeing a sex-positive therapist to address my significant interest (and feelings of guilt about) kink and BDSM. Long story short, I admitted to myself that I wasn’t just into kink, but that that I was also bisexual. All the things I thought would be difficult —coming out to my wife, discussing an open marriage, having my first gay experiences — have gone really well. My wife and I are in a great place, and I feel better about myself than I have in a long time. The part I struggle with is identity. I consider myself bisexual, Dan, but I have no idea what being queer means. If I were in the U.S., I would find some social groups and meet…
[Read more ]
Discussion in the ATmosphere