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  "path": "/2026/03/the-top-5-historical-events-you.html",
  "publishedAt": "2026-03-14T09:19:00.033Z",
  "site": "https://blog.mikeriversdale.co.nz",
  "tags": [
    "French Revolution",
    "her",
    "Confessions",
    "Washington",
    "reject this term",
    "Herodotus",
    "Nero",
    "Rome burned",
    "lyre",
    "Antium",
    "Suetonius",
    "(subscribe/RSS)"
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  "textContent": "_Why history’s greatest hits are often fabricated, and why the truth is far more fascinating than the fiction._\n\n\n\n\n# History's Greatest Hits (That Never Happened)\n\nEver feel like you know history? That you've got a handle on the big events, the defining moments, the rise and fall of empires? What if some of the most famous stories, the ones that spring to mind at a moment's notice, are just... well, totally made up?\n\n\n\n\nI'm diving into five iconic historical \"facts\" that are actually widespread myths, persistent earworms of misinformation that have burrowed their way into the collective consciousness.\n\n\n\n\n# _01_ Marie Antoinette's Indifferent Dessert Request\n\n> ## Behind the Lines\n>\n> This juicy quote became powerful propaganda during the French Revolution, perfectly framing her as uncaring and fueling public resentment. It served as kindling for the revolutionary fire.\n>\n> ## The Classic Tale\n>\n>> _\"Let them eat cake!\"_\n\n> ## The Real Scoop\n>\n> She almost certainly never said it. The phrase appeared in Rousseau's _Confessions_ years before she was even queen, attributed to an unnamed \"great princess.\" It's a case of mistaken identity, fueled by revolutionary fervor.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n# _02_ George Washington's Dentures of the Forest\n\n> ## The Dental Truth\n>\n> His dentures were made from human teeth, cow teeth, hippopotamus ivory, lead, and various metals. No wood!\n>\n> ## The Woody Wonder\n>\n> Everyone \"knows\" the US first president sported wooden choppers. Images of Washington are often accompanied by the knowing wink of \"those wooden teeth.\"\n\n> ## Why the Mix-Up?\n>\n> The ivory likely discolored and stained over time, giving it a wood-like appearance. Wood is rustic; the reality—a horrifying amalgam of organic and inorganic matter—is far less palatable.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n# _03_ The \"Dark Ages\" - A Misguided Gloom\n\n> ## The Shadowy Stereotype\n>\n> A time of intellectual blackout and barbarism sandwiched between antiquity and the Renaissance.\n>\n> ## Shining a Light\n>\n> Modern historians actively reject this term! The Middle Ages saw significant advancements in art, architecture, and technology.\n\n> ## The Name Game\n>\n> It was termed \"dark\" much later by Renaissance scholars looking to highlight their own era's brilliance. It was a carefully crafted narrative of self-aggrandisement.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n# _04_ Pyramids: Not Built by Biblical Slaves\n\n> ## The Hollywood Epic\n>\n> Ancient Egypt's grand pyramids were built by a vast, oppressed workforce of slaves... a scene etched into consciousness by countless films\n>\n> ## The Archaeological Revelation\n>\n> The pyramids were built by highly skilled, paid laborers and farmers. They were housed, fed well, and given tax exemptions.\n\n> ## Controversy's Cornerstone\n>\n> The idea of slave labor originated with Herodotus, and the Israelite connection arose centuries later, influenced by religious texts.\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n# _05_ Nero's Fiery Fiddle Fiasco\n\n> ##\n>\n> \n>\n> The Emperor's Concert\n>\n> Nero is famously depicted playing a fiddle while Rome burned in 64 AD, epitomising callous indifference.\n>\n> ## The Anachronism\n>\n> The fiddle wasn't invented until the 11th century; he would have played a lyre. More importantly, Nero was in Antium and returned to organise relief efforts.\n\n> ## Propaganda's Melody\n>\n> Hostile historians like Suetonius amplified rumors to vilify him and suggest he ordered the fire to clear land for his palace.\n\n\n\n\n# Why Do These Myths Stick Around?\n\n> ## _\"The past is not a closed book.\"_\n>\n>   * A.I. - Restoring ancient texts and identifying patterns across vast datasets.\n>   * DNA - Molecular archaeology uncovering diets, migrations, and diseases.\n>   * LDR - LiDAR and drones revealing hidden sites beneath the earth's surface.\n>\n\n\n> ## Power of Narrative\n>\n> Nuance is often the enemy of a good story. Simple, dramatic tales are easier to share.\n>\n> ## Pop Culture\n>\n> Movies and TV shows cement these inaccuracies in our collective consciousness for entertainment.\n>\n> ## Hidden Agendas\n>\n> History is written by victors who often have a specific political or cultural axe to grind.\n\n\n\n\n> # Become a History Detective\n>\n> Challenge your assumptions, question popular narratives, and dig deeper. History, when it's true, is far more fascinating than any fiction!\n>\n> **Start Investigating**\n\n(subscribe/RSS)",
  "title": "The Top 5 Historical Events You Probably Got Wrong",
  "updatedAt": "2026-03-14T10:13:55.847Z"
}