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  "description": "ETHAN LUCE",
  "path": "/a-strange-day-in-hell/",
  "publishedAt": "2026-05-14T16:00:13.000Z",
  "site": "https://qb.foofaraw.press",
  "textContent": "The day I died and went to Hell, I was shocked. I wasn’t supposed to go here! I marched through the brimstone bogs and burning fields until I reached Lucifer himself. The Devil was a colossal snake with red eyes aglow.\n\n“I can’t be in Hell, that makes no sense.”\n\n“That’s what they all say,” He chuckled maliciously. “You know what you did.”\n\n“No, not like- I mean it makes no sense because I’m _Jewish_.”\n\n“Hmm… Are you sure you’re not just a wee bit Christian?”\n\n“No. I’ve never even eaten pork.”\n\nLucifer paused.\n\n“You know what, you’re _right_ , it really doesn’t. We’ve never even gotten a Buddhist before. This is a first.”\n\nAnd so Lucifer sent me on my way to my proper afterlife. He’s really a nice fellow once you get to know him. I don’t know why he gets such a bad rap.\n\n* * *\n\nEthan Luce is an author. He has been published in Dear Human and Borderline Tales.",
  "title": "A Strange Day in Hell",
  "updatedAt": "2026-05-14T18:00:13.433Z"
}