Don't mind her

< <Hey!>>

This won't be like the last job. You're going to make a difference.

< <I know you can hear me!>>

And money. You need to make money.

< <You can't ignore me forever!>>

There's no helping her. She's long gone.

BBRRRING-BBRRRING!

Thank Allah-Buddha-Christ.

“9-1-1, what's the address of the emergency?”

That might've been too chipper.

“Uh, yeah, well,” the caller stammers, “my dog got loose.”

“Sir, this is an emergency line. You — < <He sounds cute! Get his number!>> — Animal control.”

“Well, thing is,” the caller stutters. “She's kinda aggro.”

“You think she's a danger to the community?”

“Yeah,” the caller says. “She's a pit bull.”

< <A pit bull!>>

Concentrate.

“Sir, where did the dog get loose?”

< <Like Michael Vick!>>

Deep breath. Hold it. Release.

“500 block — < <It's a dog fighting ring!>> — Street,” the caller says. “Up by Green.”

“You said the 500 block of Green Street?”

< <Send the SWAT team!>>

“No, Birch Street, by Green Street,” the caller says. “Look, I don't —”

Stick to the script.

“Sir — < <Let's get this fucker!>> — I, um, what's your name?”

CLICK.

< <What a jerk!>>

Enough.

“Look, if you shut up at work, you can talk as much as you want at home.”

“Who are you talking to?” asks the dispatcher at the next desk.

“Myself.”

< <Hey, he's kinda cute!>>

Why's it so hard to make a living?

Nicholas De Marino is a neurodivergent rhyparographer. More at nicholasdemarino.blogspot.com.