Here's to the editors who never let me settle

After I wrote about my loss of confidence before I decided to step away from tech journalism, I had several people, including former editors reach out to thank me for being so honest about my experience. One even inquired about whether or not their team of editors were at fault.

Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about all of the good editors and interactions I’ve had over the years. In fact, most of the editors I worked with throughout my career have been outstanding human beings. A handful of whom taught me so much about the journalism industry as a whole.

Landing a column at Fortune

Throughout my time freelancing, I routinely flirted with the idea of taking on a full-time job. At some point during the interview process, I’d inevitably be asked to provide clips of stories I was proud of and why.

Without fail, I have linked to my author page on the Fortune website. I started with a weekly column called Logged In, and later found myself contributing multiple times a week, or in some instances multiple times a day.

I was so far over my head when I landed that column thanks to a cold email I sent the tech editor, which included a typo in the subject. Yea, I did that.

Somehow he decided to give me a chance, and I took full advantage of it. I spent countless hours combing over the changes he made to my writing, trying to soak it all in.

This next bit is embarrassing, but oh well. Here it goes:

I vividly remember having an exclusive news story about Google, which had been provided on background. I wrote up the story, submitted it and a few minutes later my phone rings. It was my editor, asking me what the hell I meant by the story being on background. I tried to explain it, but it turned out I had no clue what on background truly meant. He had to walk me through how to clarify and set expectations about what exactly it meant for a story to be on background.

And yet, he kept me around.

The tech event grind

The very first press event invite I received — ever — was from HTC to attend a phone launch in New York. That was in 2014. I believe it was for the HTC One (M8), but I’m not certain.

Over the course of the next three years, the invites started arriving frequently and without effort. I went to every event I could, and at the same time, the tech section at Fortune continued to grow.

Along with the growth of the tech section, Fortune brought on more writers and editors. The team was growing, and I was surrounded by really smart people.

Getting invited to an Apple event, of course, was the pinnacle of the tech journalism industry. I was fortunate enough to attend Apple’s unveiling of the very first Apple Watch as my first keynote experience.

But I look back most fondly on the March 2016 event, where Apple unveiled the iPhone SE. During the event, it was announced that event would be the last to take place at the One Infinite Loop campus. The entire experience was shrouded in nostalgia.

After live-blogging the event for Fortune, I was tasked with writing a roundup of the days' announcements, including early impressions of each of the new products I spent time with in the hands-on area across the hall from the theater. I waited to start writing until I got back to my hotel room near Apple’s old campus. It was late in the day, I hadn’t eaten anything since early in the morning and I was exhausted. I wrote the story, phoning in the last paragraph or three. I ran out of words for the day. (Fellow writers surely know the feeling.)

A little while later, I got a message from my editor with something to the effect of — I think you gave up on the ending here. Let’s chat.

We exchanged a few more messages, then back to writing I went. And what came out of it was this:

Jobs was never a fan of spending too much time thinking at the past, as noted in his own words just outside the Town Hall’s entrance: “If you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go and do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next,” the quote reads.

But maybe it’s okay to dwell, ever so briefly at times. Perhaps dwelling can help ease the inevitable fear of change; the fear that surely comes with leaving the halls Jobs once roamed, for a place where his presence will only be felt in words and photos.

I was able to grab two-seconds of Phil Schiller’s attention on the demo floor. In that time, I asked him perhaps the most important question of the day: What does “SE” stand for? “Special Edition,” he told me. For him, the name pays homage to the Macintosh SE; a computer the company released in 1987.

With the iPhone SE being a tribute to the past in more than one way, the only question that’s left for Apple is: What’s next?

(You can read the entire now-paywalled story on Fortune (if you use Safari's reader mode you can see the entire piece, or you can read the archived version.)

I was somewhat annoyed when he pushed back, but at the same time, I appreciated his approach. He came to me from a place of understanding and encouragement.

And as I sat staring at the cursor blinking, trying to decide where to go, eventually the words started to flow. And as soon as I wrapped the last few sentences, I sat back and had a holy shit, that's good kind of moment. My editor agreed.

I've never stopped chasing that feeling.

The right way to push

This story, and especially the last few paragraphs, wouldn't have happened without my editor. He knew exactly how to push me without being condescending or leaving me discouraged and annoyed. Instead, he knew exactly what buttons to press to get me to take another meaningful pass — and it worked.

The next day, I woke up to a message from him saying we buried the lede in the story. That line about Phil Schiller telling me the iPhone SE's full name had been covered by nearly every tech publication. We definitely buried the lede, but I was okay with that.

I've had several editors over my career who've evoked the same feeling: knowing when to push or encourage, and how to pull the best out of me and my skillset. And to them, I'll forever be grateful.

It's been fun to find myself writing again, looking for the right words for the right moment, and feeling that same spark. I'll never stop chasing those holy shit, that's good moments.